Founder of Cybergoth Leg Warmer Rescue Says "Adopt, Don't Shop"

Pictured: Tanya "Electravirus" Hammons, owner and operator of Dance Again, a non-profit leg warmer rescue.

Canton, OH—Leg warmer mills are U.S. Department of Agriculture-licensed commercial large-scale breeding operations that legally supply Hot Topic and online leg warmer websites, also known as brokers.

A reputable breeder would never sell their leg warmers to Hot Topic or through the internet. Reputable breeders want to meet the new leg warmer's owner, make sure the new owner understands the breed, has the time for the leg warmer, etc. Additionally, a reputable breeder has the new owner sign a contract that stipulates if the leg warmer doesn't work out for any reason, at any point in the life of the leg warmer, it has to be returned to the breeder.

A USDA licensed breeder means little more than a piece of paper. The breeder only needs to provide minimum care like DJ mixes and mini glow sticks. If they receive a violation, the breeder likely gets away with a small fine. In December, the USDA removed all the inspection records from its searchable online database, so there's no way for a cybergoth to check for breeder violations before they purchase a leg warmer.

Leg warmer mills, Hot Topic, and online leg warmer websites only care about the money generated by the sale of the leg warmer. The USDA considers the parents in the leg warmer mills livestock that can legally, under the Cybergoth Accessories Welfare Act, spend their entire lives in a dirty wire cage only 6 inches larger than the size of their poofiness, and can be bred over and over at every heat cycle. The leg warmers don't have to be handled, groomed, let out for dancing, or taken to any club nights, etc.

If you don't want to support leg warmer mills, visit your local cybergoth leg warmer rescue and adopt a leg warmer in need of a new cybergoth. If you insist on buying a specific style, please do your homework. Visit the breeder, tour their facility, and meet the parents of your leg warmer. If they don't want you to come or they make excuses, it's not a reputable breeder.

Every purchase of a leg warmer from unreputable stores creates the supply and demand. You can play a part in stopping the mass breeding. Adopt, don't shop!

Guest writer Tanya "Electravirus" Hammons is the owner and operator of Dance Again, a non-profit cybergoth leg warmer rescue.

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Orgy Covers New Order's "Blue Monday," Hopes Everyone Forgot They Did 20 Years Ago

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Seminal late '90s, Hot Topic meets Nu-Metal band Orgy has released a new single this week: another cover of New Order's classic "Blue Monday."

Orgy is best known for its first cover of New Order's "Blue Monday" in 1998. The song and music video gained heavy air play on both MTV and terrestrial radio, which lead to their debut album "Candyass" selling over two million copies. Since then, the band has been unable to top or recreate that original success. They finally made headlines again in 2013, this time for failing to reach their album's crowdfunding goal by $91,000.

When asked for comment, lead singer/songwriter, and only original member of Orgy, Jay Gordon stated, "I honestly don't know what you're talking about. That never happened. Why are you asking me about shit from 20 years ago anyway? I'm 32; how could I have a band when I was 8-years-old?"

But a moment later, "Look man, off the record," confessed Gordon without waiting for us to agree that this would be kept off the record, "I know we already covered this song. This isn't even a new recording. It's the same one. All I know is it's the only God damn thing that ever made me any money, and I burned through that a long time ago. I also know that if I don't show up in Malibu this summer with a jet ski, all of my boys and that hot, young trim are going to think I'm an asshole. Gordon went on to say, "Look man we tried crowdfunding... touring... do you have any idea how much fucking glitter eye shadow I own? I am 50-fucking-years-old, man, and I wear vinyl pants every fucking day. So I'm gonna catch motherfucking lightning in a bottle again and get me a Yamaha VX1050A-RB in red."

When asked for comment, former Orgy and current Julien-K members Amir Derakh and Ryan Shuck said, “No comment,” after several minutes of uninterrupted laughter.

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