WASHINGTON, DC—Let's say he recorded an industrial album featuring a single about fake news. Trump always gets attention, and we have to make it industrial related.
The new album will be produced by
Trump says something about being sick of the vapid world of politics (except he probably doesn't know what vapid means) and how his handlers never let him smear black grease paint on his neck before doing a press conference. Maybe Photoshop the picture to reflect that. Or not. The simplicity could help sell the idea that we didn't put any effort into this one
Ooh! Gary Numan! Have him be involved somehow. His last two albums were amazing. Maybe a quote from him like, "I'm so glad Trump has found his true calling. I'm honored to be working with him." Or better yet, Andy from Combichrist. The post will get a boost from everyone shitting on Combichrist in the comments. God, I feel like this is so easy sometimes.
Four or five paragraphs should be enough. No one reads the stories anyway. Headline+Pic=Share. How hilarious would it be if they don't even realize what any of this is? I mean, the headline should pique their interest though. Oh, and put our rivet pattern background behind him. It'll be like a representation of how we're just slapping Trump on our website in order to pump out another article. Let's even do a shitty job of cutting him out too.
P.S. Does a P.S. make sense in an article? This kind of comes off as an internal memo anyway, right? Let's copy paste this whole thing, replace Swift with Trump, and publish it in a few months. Boom. That was just a joke, but now I think we should really do it just in case one person remembers this. Include this paragraph verbatim without replacing her name. I'm way too amused by the fact that this is the sixth paragraph when earlier I said four or five.
