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Goth Chemist Develops Industrial Strength SPF 666 Sunscreen



CAMBRIDGE, MA—Goth chemist Lasandra Nightfaery has developed a new industrial strength sunscreen with an SPF of 666. The sunscreen is specially designed to keep skin pale and protect it from the harmful rays of the sun. Nightfaery, a long time goth, says she was motivated to develop the sunscreen after her goth softball league game was postponed after a two-hour sun delay.

"I wanted a sunscreen that would keep us both pale and protected from the sun, but all of the products on the market were either too weak or they weren't vegan," she says. "So, I decided to develop my own sunscreen that would be strong enough to keep me pale and protected."

The sunscreen is made with a special black pigment that absorbs light, preventing it from reaching the skin. In addition, the sunscreen contains a concentration of zinc oxide, which reflects and scatters UV rays. Finally, the sunscreen is infused with a special blend of essential oils and spells that provide additional protection against UV rays and negative energies. The sunscreen is currently available for purchase online and in select Hot Topic stores.

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